D.A. Fantasy Football — Week 13.

This One’s For You, Janoris!

Before we get to this week’s D.A. I wanted to look at a guy who made a solid run this week, Charlie Batch.  The Steelers had a mind-boggling 8 turnovers against Cleveland on Sunday and Batch was responsible for his share.  The question I have though is why Charlie Batch?  How is Charlie Batch able to stay in the league as a 38-year old QB?  I see some reasons to  keep a QB well past their physical prime, but Charlie Batch?  It’s not like Batch is the worst QB to ever suit up, but he’s hardly a guy you would expect to hang around this long–even as a 3rd string QB.  He’s thrown 11 TDs in the last 11 years.  Is Batch just willing to take on the backup duty that other veteran QBs aren’t?  And, could playing time actually hurt Batch’s longevity at this point?  I think he’s better off on the sideline.

3-PT D.A. of the Week:  Ryan Lindley.  

I think that’s a picture of Ryan Lindley up there.  I wouldn’t know.  There was a time when throwing two pick-6s in a game was good enough for an automatic D.A.  In recent weeks, though, the double pick-6 has become like hitting 30 homers in the 90s.  NOT A BIG DEAL.  Even Drew Brees is doing it as he submarines my NFL picks.  So, two Janoris Jenkins’ TDs, but what else are you bringing to the table, Lindley?  An encouraging trend in D.A. is that bad teams are letting bad QBs drop back far more than they have in recent years.  Lindley chucked it 52 times.  He tacked on 2 additional picks, he was sacked twice and about the only thing he didn’t do was fumble.  Lindley threw for over 300 yards, but I’m willing to overlook it to keep the trend of Cardinals futility going.

D.A. Quick Summaries:

*Note: when announcing the teams, I assigned Cutler and Campbell by mistake.  Fake Chow ended up with Sam Bradford instead of Campbell (who obviously didn’t play) and Doubleback Vineyards had Philip Rivers in Bradford’s place.  Everything else was unchanged.

Neckbeards and Codeine Keeps Shiva Cry Reeling with 24.5 to 7 Win.  

Highlights:  Third straight loss for Shiva Cry, who suddenly finds themselves in a bit more precarious playoff position.  Neckbeards rode the D.A. winning performance of Ryan Lindley while BK “jinxed” Eli.  I suppose the Giants win was consolation and Eli’s (-4) points in that beatdown was actually kind of impressive.

Kraft Derails Doubleback Vineyard’s Playoff Plans with 54.25 to 41 Win.  

Highlights:  I heard the Steelers had 8 turnovers before I saw any highlights and I thought to myself, “Oh my, what did Batch do?”  When I saw the box score I was actually a bit disappointed, but it was still 32 points for Batch.  D-Back got a solid 31 points from Christian Ponder, but it wasn’t enough in this shootout.

Eli Esses D Gets Much Needed Win over Happy Valley Tickle Monsters, 20.25 to 4.

Highlights:  Eli was paced by Carson Palmer’s heroic return to Cincinnati.  Was this the worst trade in the last 20 years?  Only the Raiders.  Happy Valley Tickle Monsters got a good game from Brady Quinn, but learned to never take a QB against the Eagles defense.

Fake Chow Knocks off 1st Place Horse Face, 4.25 to (-5).  

Highlights:  Low scoring affair all across the board.  Horse Face had the 1st pick and got zero turnovers out of Nick Foles. To be fair, he could have thrown 4 picks, but didn’t.  The high scorer in the whole matchup was Sam Bradford, who put up 6 points against those lowly Cardinals.

D.A. Standings:

  1. Team Horse Face, 8-4
  2. Fake Chow, 8-4
  3. The Shiva Cry, 7-5
  4. Eli Esses D, 6-6
  5. Doubleback Vineyards, 6-6
  6. Neckbeards and Codeine, 5-7
  7. Kraft, 4-8 (z)
  8. Happy Valley Tickle Monsters, 4-8 (z)

*(z)–Eliminated From Playoff Contention.

Week 13 Draft Order:

  1. JCK
  2. Brian
  3. Kraft
  4. Will
  5. BK
  6. Gross
  7. Nichols
  8. DC

Week 13 Games:

  1. Eli Esses D vs. Kraft
  2. Team Horse Face vs. Happy Valley Tickle Monsters
  3. The Shiva Cry vs. Fake Chow
  4. Neckbeards and Codeine vs. Doubleback Vineyards

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