2011 D.A. Football — Week 5.

Ball Coach About to Throw a Ball Pick.

Four weeks of D.A. Fantasy Football into the books, and I feel like we’re finally getting back to normal a little bit.  There are still obscene passing yardage numbers throughout the league, but D.A. scores have come trending back to normal, and we’ve seen some monster performances.  What Mark Sanchez did against the Ravens was absolutely spectacular. That’s their franchise quarterback, people.  He’s the guy.

For this week’s historical D.A. I’m focusing on a guy I can’t believe I skipped over last season.  The Ol’ Ball Coach.  Mr. Run-it-Up, Mr. Disaster in Washington, Mr. Can’t be Bothered to Work Long Hours because I have a Golf Addiction.  I’m talking about Steve Spurrier.  I remember the first time I learned that Coach Spurrier was an NFL quarterback.  Spurrier is built like Will Clark if Clark somehow spent less time in the gym.  You hear JoePa played QB at Brown, and you say, OK, the average weight of the D-Line in 1893 was probably about 125 lbs, no big deal.  But, Spurrier QB’ed NFL teams in the 1970s?  Unreal.  Of course the first thing you hear after news of Spurrier’s NFL career is just exactly how awful he was out there.  I never looked into it until today.

Spurrier has to rank with the worst statistical QBs of all-time.  He never had a good year.  He threw 1.5 picks for every TD, his career rating barely topped 60 at a robust 60.1.  A guy like this must have a ton of D.A. games to his credit.  And, considering he only piled up 38 starts in a 9-year career, he does.  He once beat the Eagles by going 7-17 for 77 yards with 3INTs.  He did nearly the same thing in a 20-17 win over the Vikings a couple of years later.  In the last game of the 1973 season he went 1 of 9 for THREE yards with a pick.  All worthy candidates.  The guy was a bonus yardage machine, but for his signature game, I’m choosing October 21, 1973.  Spurrier started the game for the 49ers.  He went 5 of 13 for 23 yards with 2 picks.  Rating: 7.1.  Adjusted Yards Per Attempt: -5.15.  At that point he was either benched or injured and 2 other Niner QBs led them to a 40-0 rout of New Orleans and Archie Manning.  40-0!  The kicker, Spurrier started the next week. That’s D.A.

D.A. Standings: 

  1. Neckbeards and Codeine 3-1 (125.25 points)
  2. Team Horse Face 3-1 (68 points)
  3. Kraft 2-2 (102.5 points)
  4. The Shiva Cry (90.25 points)
  5. Fake Chow 2-2 (31.75 points)
  6. JCK 2-2 (-5.25 points)
  7. Eli Esses D 1-3 (12 points)
  8. The Slop Jocks 1-3 (-16 points)

Week 5 Draft Order:

  1. BK
  2. Tim
  3. Nichols
  4. Brian
  5. Big Dub
  6. JCK
  7. DC
  8. Kraft

Week 5 Match-Ups:

  1. Eli Esses D vs. JCK
  2. Team Horse Face vs. Fake Chow
  3. Kraft vs. The Slop Jocks
  4. The Shiva Cry vs. Neckbeards and Codeine
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