This is it. We’re entering the worst sports month of the year. Perhaps we should thank the NFL for stretching their schedule into February, because the shortest month can be cruel to your sporting heart. Of course, if you watch a lot of sports in February, you must REALLY like sports. Congratulations on that, and honestly, I’m not in any mood to praise the NFL.
For the first time I’ve really noticed advertisers falling in line with the ban on using the term, “Super Bowl.” If you pick up a flyer from Pepe’s Pizza, they can’t advertise that they have Super Bowl deals. I’ve heard that the NFL is even trying to stop people from using the term “Big Game,” as a euphemism for the Super Bowl. So, instead of making a reasonable ad, everyone is stuck with, “Hey, gonna be watching TV any time soon? Call us, We might have some Dealz.” Goodell probably just got a Google alert. BORDERLINE language there.
I don’t see what this policy accomplishes. Certainly the NFL isn’t selling pizza in your municipality. I guess they just don’t want anyone on their coattails? I guess they view the word “Super Bowl,” as something akin to the NFL logo. You couldn’t put THE SHIELD on your menu, so the term “Super Bowl” is out as well. Anyway, as far as idiotic stands the professional sports leagues take, this one is right up there with MLB not allowing clips on YouTube. It’s a Pick ‘Em over which is a bigger waste of time.
Before I make my pick, which is what everyone should be scrolling through this garbage for anyway (16-3-2 last 21 playoff games–that’s documented), I will list the five greatest consequences of each team’s victory. I figured these out using science.
If the Broncos Win, Prepare for the Following:
5. We’ll live in a world where John Fox is a Super Bowl winning coach. Not sure I’d be comfortable there.
4. Eli Manning will have nothing left over Peyton. Eli gets dominated in every category from forehead area to sense of humor. All he has is his 2-1 lead in Super Bowls. If Peyton evens him up at two, I’m fairly sure Archie and Olivia slowly start to cut ties with the East Rutherford Pick Factory.
3. Tom Brady supporters will lose a bit more footing in the Brady vs. Manning debate, and die-hard Patriots fans may look into the deportation of Gisele. The curse is real.
2. Peyton Manning will almost certainly host Saturday Night Live again. Or maybe he’ll star in a movie with Zach Galifianakis.
1. Five million articles will be written. 2.5 Million about overrating the running QB, and 2.5 million about how defense doesn’t win championships in the modern NFL.
If the Seahawks Win, Prepare for the Following:
5. We’ll live in a World where Pete Carroll is a Super Bowl winning coach. I know I’m not ready for that.
4. Seattle fans will take WAY too much credit for the team’s success and somehow turn it into a sign the Sonics should come back.
3. The Peyton Manning choker narrative will live on–Probably forever.
2. Russell Wilson will host SNL, and he’ll be terrible.
1. Five Million articles will be written. 2.5 million about the death of the pocket passer, and 2.5 million about how defense wins championships.
Having two weeks to think about a game is way too much time. It would be like if you were in an intimate moment with the person of your dreams and they excused themselves from the boudoir….for 90 minutes. By the time they get back, you’re ruined. It’s ruined. You’re going to screw it up. Know that. That’s what staring at this 2.5 for 12 days has felt like–to me. Maybe that means I’m not normal.
A casual analysis says that with two weeks Peyton will figure out a way to beat the Seahawks defense, it says that Seattle won’t be able to score enough to win, and even the weather seems to be lining up right for Denver. Of course, the vast majority of people are on the Broncos. The line shot in Denver’s direction immediately after opening and has stayed steady since.
Am I part of the mob, part of the crowd who will dismiss those 2.5 points? NO.
This game opened up as a Pick ‘Em, or even with Seattle as a slight favorite before shooting quickly in Denver’s favor. So, is the early money the smart money in this case? It’s not really a concern for me, because the line tells me that the teams are virtually even. Seattle will be competitive. If Vegas was worried about a blowout, or an avalanche of public money on Denver, the line would be much higher. And, as far as Peyton getting two weeks to prepare, from what I hear, Seattle just lines up on defense and plays. There’s not much to figure out, their success is based mostly on having very good players. Weird. There isn’t a revolutionary scheme.
I think Seattle’s defense will be allowed to play their game by the referees, and I think Peyton will spend at least a portion of this game frustrated. Denver’s running game will go NOWHERE. Seattle’s ability to score is my only hesitation, but I think they can do it ugly. Ugly and outright folks. That’s the motto. Seahawks, 23-20.