There’s a lot of big golf events this weekend. Something called the British Open will be getting underway in Scotland on Thursday. I’m picking Hunter Mahan by the way. Just to make an official pick. A lot of the sport’s attention will shift, however, on Saturday to a little hamlet called Phoenixville, PA. The First Annual Jean Short Open will get underway just after 3 pm, and will televised on the Speed Channel. I’m sure most of you have no idea what a Jean Short Open is, or why anyone would ever wear, or even say the words jean shorts…well these are good questions.
The Jean Short Open is a tribute to banned golf. We all know that I go on and on about these golf courses that I refuse to play. They’re banned, and I sound like a snob, but it’s really just self preservation. If I played these courses all the time, I would hate golf. Well, we’re throwing that all out the window on Saturday. Come hell or high water, we’re going to tee it up at Pickering Valley (the most banned of the banned), and not only that…we’re flying in the face of all logic by teeing off in the late afternoon.
Who: This event was the brainchild of Mr. Rand, who has a predisposition to wearing jean shorts, and is most comfortable when everyone else around him is uncomfortable. Rand even made a show out of “shopping” for his jean shorts, when we all know he was just in his closet, picking from his extensive collection. Well played. Rand decided that he wanted to get me to play Pickering, and I buckled, and Haas and Kev are coming probably because Haas wants to see me in jean shorts, and Kev (despite frequenting Pine Valley and Baltimore CC) because he really, really likes Pickering.
Why Jean Shorts: Well, Pickering is a special place. It is the kind of place that existed before dress codes, and a place that passes no judgement. The real question is, why not jean shorts? The only rule at Pickering is “No Cutoffs”. I think this means in the bar…and has nothing to do with attire. This is a basic when in Rome situation. You go to Winged Foot, you put on a pair of pants and act like cell phones haven’t been invented. You go to Pickering, it’s Levis and Dale Jr. trucker hats.
Format: The format involves a complicated rule system that Rand created. All I know is that drinking is involved, we are somehow playing for 2 meals…and bad shots will be rewarded. The rest is just details really. There certainly is a format, but there are no losers in this event.
Predictions: Well, first and foremost I predict that Haas/Kev and Rand will be waiting for me on the first tee while I lock myself in my apartment and turn my phone off. Just kidding, just kidding. I won’t even be in the state. In reality, I’m predicting a good time, but Pickering will likely still be banned after this event, we may ruin Kev’s golf swing for the rest of the season, and at some point, probably when we’re trying to figure out where to go afterwards, we are going to regret putting on those jean shorts.
We’ll be hoping to get a picture of this obviously, so stay tuned.