Official Dog Of 3-Putt Territory
What’s up everyone. Im coming live from Milton, MA with Three Putt Territory correspondent JCK. We’re going to live blog game 5…starting in the 2nd quarter.
9:12 pm–JCK during a smirnoff ice commercial, “Remember when we were in that mix?” Oh, yes…I remember.
9:14 pm–JCK on Stan Van Gundy “Look at this Porn Mustache F***”
9:15 pm–Daisy the bulldog is coming live as well…crazy LeBron esque althleticism out of this bulldog.
9:17pm–JCK..”Didn’t Rashard Lewis rape a girl in a hotel?” Uhhh…not too sure about that one. Clarification: Maybe that was Kobe Bryant.
9:17 pm–By the way…here comes Orlando. 35-21 Cavs
9:20 pm–Waiting for blog correspondent Aaron to show…just saw a preview for the Will Farrell Danny McBride Movie…Kenny Powers.
9:23 pm–Howard garbage flail and one…he has no offensive moves. Listening to Reggie Miller is so painful. He just said LeBron has to be in attack mode…um what?
9:25 pm–Gortat looks like a steroid riddled version of Jon Barry. Magic within 10. Come on Cleveland. WTF?
9:27pm–LeBron walks…no call. JCK…”thats the Ewing rule”
9:29 pm–What’s his nuts Lee is wearing the Rip Hamilton mask. Can we toughen these guys up a little? It’s basketball.
9:32 pm–We’ve just decided. Next timeout is Hendricks and Tonic Time. Magic within 8.
9:35 pm–Delonte West. St. Joe’s what what. Big Five. Cleveland back up 11. Daisy the bulldog just tried to airmail onto my lap. Verdict: Fail.
9:37pm–Ron Jeremy just got T’d up. What a hot mess. This guy should coach in a honey mustard stained sweatsuit.
9:40pm–Discussions on LeBron stealing the chalk clap from KG. I feel like KG invented it.
9:41 pm–Whats up with all the Dos Equis commericials? I mean, no one actually drinks this beer right? It’s like the beer you lied about drinking during that trip to Mexico when you were 17.
9:43 pm–Hendrick’s and Tonic’s people…Cleveland hanging in there, holding 12.
9:44pm–Whats up with the Muppets style Nike Commericals? Awful.
9:45 pm–Blog correspondent Aaron has arrived. For the first time ever he’s heavier than JCK…and he just came back from the kitchen without a drink. Foul.
9:47pm–Big “Z” just had a Tom Chambers type 1986 dunking explosion. BANG. Spike that.
9:49 pm–Reggie Miller…”Szerbiak can’t guard Turkoglou” Uh, Reggie…Szerbiak can’t guard anyone.
9:50 pm–JCK’s prediction for BK’s golf score on Saturday…112.
9:52 pm–Rashard Lewis makes it rain from “3” right before the half…Orlando within 1 at halftime. JCK says, “Ballgame Orlando”
9:57 pm–We’re going to watch a Californicaton episode during halftime.
10:04 pm–I’m getting some Flomax. Just to see what’s up.
10:08 pm– JCK predicts 16-0 and a Super Bowl for the Pats. Cancel the season.
10:14 pm–and Orlando leads…by 4.
10:15 pm–Bud Light Lime…taking the worst part of a Corona and bringing it to american light beer.
10:19 pm–Cleveland is not guarding anybody. Orlando by 8. This looks a lot like goodnight gracie.
10:20 pm–Turkoglou is everywhere. Blog bulldog Daisy has been banished to the kitchen due to aggressiveness.
10:27 pm–Cleveland quasi back in control up 70-67. Trying to upload a pic of blog bulldog Daisy..success.
10:31 pm–I’m starting to remember why I don’t watch complete NBA games. This is going to be crazy boring until the last 5 mins.
10:33 pm–Varejao is a waste of space. Duke Blue Devil esque flail. Shane Battier would have blown the whistle.
10:36 pm–Catching a few minutes of Jim Jefferies on HBO per recco…pretty funny cat.
10:43 pm–Boobie Miles hits a three. Cleveland playing like an underdog. Szerbiak bricks a three…great contribution Wally. Orlando leads going into 4th.
10:44 pm–JCK takes piss break number a billion.
1045 pm –gross goes to get beverage
10:46pm –gross returns with BL…long weekend. Put the gin to rest for now.
10:50 pm–Daniel Gibson hits another 3…Cleveland by 4. LeBreezy almost makes an “and one” over his head. Oh LeBron, Just stop it…Cleveland by 6 as Dwight Howard sits with 4 fouls.
10:53 pm–Howard is back in, hits another garbage turnaround. Pietrus hits a 3, and its 86-85 Cleveland. This is the least exciting close game I’ve ever seen.
10:55 pm– JCK “LeBron travels. I hate LeBron”
10:58 pm–Blog Bulldog Daisy has been upgraded from fiesty to “just plain naughty” Cleveland by 2. 89-87. LeBreezy has 25-10-12. Good Gracious. The rest of this team does stink.
11:00 pm–We have an assistant coach Ewing sighting. Verdict: Sweating.
11:01 pm– Aaron…”Speaking of Trannies…” Nervous.
11:03 pm–LeBron looks like he’s going to take this over. JCK complaining that Bron walks every possession and gets all the calls.
11:08 pm–Wondering how Mike Brown got his job. I mean, just cause we’re curious.
11:10 pm–Huge tubby mass of humanity sitting behind Van Gundy wearing a LeBron All-Star jersey. Get him some celery and maybe a diet Fresca.
11:113 pm–Varajao missed a dunk. Breezy lay-up and one. Howard fouls out. Trouble for Orlando.
11:14 pm–Random athlete sightings….Roethisberger, A-Rod, and Mo Rivera. G-List stiffs.
11:17 pm–Bron bangs in another 3…call the ball on this game. We’re going back to Orlando. Oh my budget…Brady Quinn is there. Where is his sister? Oh, she’s probably doing something weird with AJ Hawk.
11:19 pn–Cleveland by 11. One Minute Left. Live Blogging…Over.