2013 D.A. Fantasy Football — Week 12.

Worst Night Since The Green Room.

Potential.  If you believe A Bronx Tale, wasting it the saddest thing in life.  In terms of D.A. Fantasy Football, I want every quarterback to have their worst possible game while they have the chance.  Starting jobs are fleeting.  You could be hurt one week, or benched the next.  Don’t save anything for tomorrow.  Go ahead and throw that pick-6–this might be your last chance.

Geno Smith, he of the DA historically significant Jets, was thrust into an ideal position this year.  Team in shambles, mediocre starter having shoulder problems, it was Smith’s job from the start and we all expected him to stink.  A Gabbert for a new generation.  And, Smith has certainly had his moments.  He’s got an 8/16 TD/INT ratio.  He’s thrown for under 200 yards in 4 of his last 6 games.  He was DA-tastic in week two.  But, there were moments when you worried that Smith would eventually leave the ranks of D.A.  He beat New England.  He beat New Orleans.

On Sunday, Smith reassured everyone that he is going to be around for a while.  Luckily, the Jets have nowhere else to turn, so when Smith goes 8/23 for 103 yards and 3 INTs (1 pick6) you can trust that Geno will be right back out there for week 12.  And, maybe he’ll toss up another 56 D.A. points and a 10.3 QB rating.  Let’s hope so.

2013 D.A. Football Standings:

I’ll update the point totals next week, but with 3 weeks to go, things are still pretty close in the pack.  Everyone, with the possible exception of Senor Danger, should be in pretty good shape if they win out.

1. Team Horse Face, 7-4
2. Fake Chow, 6-5
3. Eli Esses D, 6-5
4. Doubleback Vineyards, 6-5
5. D.A.iry Queen INC, 6-5
6. Happy Valley Tickle Monsters, 5-6
7. Tampa Ticklesh*ts, 4-6-1
8. Carlos Danger, 3-7-1

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Quick Summaries:

HVTM Clips Team Horse Face 57 to .75, Stays Alive in Playoff Race.  

*There was a scoring change in this game.  HVTM should have received Jason Campbell.  I know this is slightly controversial, but you must trust my commitment to fairness as the commissioner.

Highlights:  This game featured Jason Campbell vs. Geno Smith, a heavyweight tussle like we haven’t seen yet this year.  Campbell snapped off 29 incomplete passes.  They both threw 3 interceptions.  They both lost handily.  Final tally Geno 56, Campbell 55.  Epic.  Unfortunately for Horse Face, he paired Geno with Carson Palmer’s 400+ yards and that was that.

D.A.iry Queen, INC. Wins Snooze Fest, (-1.25) to (-2.75) over Carlos Danger.

Highlights:  Not many fireworks here.  It came down to Monday night with Carlos Danger looking for some help from Cam Newton to secure the win.  Not so much.  Newton won the game, perhaps the difference (along with his 3 TDs) and that will probably do it for Carlos Danger this season.  A disappointing ending for a two-time playoff participant. Only a spoiler role left now.

Doubleback Slams Tampa Ticklesh*ts 48 to (-10.25)

Highlights:  Eli Manning picked a bad time to have one of his more competent games of the season for Tampa, but the real shock was Matt McGroin not imploding for the Raiders.  This guy would have put D.A. points as a college QB and now he’s serviceable in the NFL.  I’m not comfortable with that.  For Doubleback the squad was anchored by Joe Flacco’s 32 points through the tornadoes in Chicago.

Fake Chow Sneaks Past Eli Esses D, 15 to 12.75, Creates Logjam in Standings.

Highlights:  A close game and one that Fake Chow really needed.  Chow got off to a rough start with EJ Manuel dicing up the Jets, but Matty Ice came through in the end.  A D.A. development that gets less shocking with each Falcons’ loss.  Eli got cute/aggressive by taking Peyton Manning with the 15th pick, but Peyton didn’t respond in his first ever D.A. appearance.  The Chiefs defense disappeared along with Big Dub’s chances at a win.

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Week 12 Draft Order:

1. Eli
2. Doubleback
3. Carlos
4. Horse Face
5. Fake Chow
6. HVTM
7. D.Q.
8. Tampa

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Week 12 Matchups:

1. HVTM vs. D.A.iry Queen, INC
2. Team Horse Face vs. Tampa Tickleshits
3. Eli Esses D vs. Carlos Danger
4. Fake Chow vs. Doubleback Vineyards