D.A. Fantasy Football — Week 8.

Ms. D.A.

We are officially halfway through the D.A. Season.  Down in the standings portion you’ll get a little idea of each team’s cumulative performance.  Oh, my cumulative performance?  It’s been atrocious.  As it turns out I may be more of an appreciator of bad QB than a person who has any foresight about when it is going to happen.  In my defense, it’s been a tricky year.  Passing yards are up across the league.  D.A. scoring is down.  It’s called a trend.  Ebbs and flows.  Can I make a recovery and make the playoffs?  The more important question might be whether we can get some fresh blood into this league?  Where are the random backups?  It’s nice to see Brady Quinn will be starting next week, but I want more.  Bring on the QB injuries!

3-PT D.A. of the Week:  Christian Ponder

For a third time I write this while a QB is having a very mediocre Monday night, but I’m not changing my mind this time around.  There are a couple ways to win a D.A.  You can rifle off 5 interceptions, a few pick sixes.  You can complete 17 of 55 passes.  But, let’s remember that the original D.A. game was a win for the Browns.  The point being, sometimes it is more embarrassing to be so inconsequential that it doesn’t matter how you play.  Christian Ponder wasn’t even allowed to have a say in the outcome on Sunday.  That’s D.A.  The Vikings let him throw all of 17 passes.  He still managed 2 INTs.  He threw for 58 yards!  Fifty-eight.  That’s in a regulation game.  Almost any QB performing above the D-III level could have guided the Vikings to a win Sunday.  Is the publicity over Ponder’s relationship with Sam Steele to blame?  It certainly didn’t hurt his D.A. chances in my book.

D.A. Quick Summaries:

Neckbeards and Codeine Rekindles Playoff Hopes with 20.5 to 1.5 Win over Fake Chow.

Highlights:  And, here’s the Ponder factor.  His 29.5 points aren’t head-turning, but to do that in just 17 attempts is pretty special.  It was enough for Neckbeards to get back on track before we start the 2nd half.  For Fake Chow, Mark Sanchez’s late rally (after the lovable safety) robbed him of any chance for a victory.

Eli Esses D Thumps Doubleback Vineyards, 53 to 21.75

Highlights:  Eli making a run at that final playoff spot as well thanks to a victorious Thursday matchup.  To the naked eye, Russell Wilson (32 points) and Alex Smith (8 points) both had pretty bad nights.  But, Smith won the game, was frustratingly accurate in the 2nd half and 24 points was way too big a hole to dig out of for Doubleback.  Andy Dalton’s 21 points Sunday night just sealed the deal.

Shiva Cry Regains 1st Place with win over Happy Valley Tickle Monsters

Highlights:  I’m fairly sure the Saints are banned from D.A. after what Josh Freeman did against them.  I’m fairly sure Freeman didn’t put up those kinds of numbers in Pee-Wee.  On the opposite side of the coin?  The Bears, who helped frustrate Matt Stafford on Monday night and helped Shiva to an easy win.

Team Horse Face Noses Closer to 1st with 29-21 Win over Kraft

Highlights:  As you’ll soon see in the standings, no one (maybe Eli) has had harder luck this season than Kraft.  Brutal strength of schedule.  It continued Sunday as Horse Face found just enough to come out with a win.  John “Helter” Skelton had a pretty triumphant return to the scene with 14 to help a balanced attack.  Blaine Gabbert’s injury (1 point)  after he had already surpassed 100 yards may have ended up costing Kraft the game.

D.A. Standings:

1. The Shiva Cry, 6-1 (234.25 points)
2. Fake Chow, 5-2 (123.25 points)
3. Team Horse Face, 5-2 (109.25 points)
4. Eli Esses D, 3-4, (165 points)
5. Neckbeards and Codeine, 3-4 (-10.25 points)
6. Kraft, 2-5 (105 points)
7. Doubleback Vineyards, 2-5 (18.5 points)
8. Happy Valley Tickle Monsters, 2-5 (-1.25 points)

Week 8 Draft Order:

1. Will
2. BK
3. Gross
4. Nichols
5. DC
6. JCK
7. Brian
8. Kraft

Week 8 Matchups:

1. Eli Esses D vs. Neckbeards and Codeine
2. Fake Chow vs. Happy Valley Tickle Monsters
3. Team Horse Face vs. Doubleback Vineyards
4. Kraft vs. The Shiva Cry

Commissioner’s D.A. Rankings:

1. Brady Quinn
2. Newton
3. Skelton
4. Jacksonville
5. Russell Wilson
6. Sanchez
7. Josh Freeman
8. Tannehill
9. Alex Smith
10. Weeden
11. Ponder
12. Palmer
13. Romo
14. Bradford