2013 D.A. Fantasy Football — Week 8.

The Chosen One.

The Chosen One.

It’s happening.  The NFL season is starting to take its toll.  Quarterback situations around the league are getting shaky, murky, pick-6y.  Jay Cutler is out.  The Vikings have the unholy trinity of stink.  Sam Bradford is done for the year.  Yes, the Rams will be starting someone worse than Sam Bradford.  And, of course, there is the Eagles.  The loss to Dallas was a cold reality check for the city on many levels.  Nick Foles, “Polesie” as I lovingly call him revealed his true colors, which were known to anyone with functional eyes before Sunday.  Also, hope for the team diminished greatly, even in a flawed NFC East.  The Eagles don’t look like they can win the division, and even if they did, the playoffs would be a token, sacrificial experience.  All this means there’s potential Matt Barkley could get some trial time as the QB before the season ends and what a D.A. taste he gave us on Sunday.  Barkley was 11/20 with 3 INTS (a fourth was called back) in relief of Poles.  Since he didn’t start, I don’t feel comfortable giving him the D.A., but also because of…

Josh Freeman.  Freeman rides again, everyone.  You know how you hear those stats, “so and so is the 3rd guy to win this or that in 3 different decades,”?  That’s what Freeman reminds me of, because every year you give this guy a chance to start at QB, he’s going to win a D.A.  His worst games are up there with the all-timers.  He doesn’t quietly stink every week like Sam Bradford and not pick up any hardware.  He goes all-in.  Monday night, against what has to be one of the worst defenses in the NFL, Freeman went slightly against type to secure the D.A.  From the archives, here’s a typical Freeman D.A. stat line.  Week 15 last year, 26/47 for 279 and 4 INTs.  Freeman always piled up yardage in his bad games.  Five picks, 321 yards.  Four picks, 372 yards.

Last night was only 190 yards, though.  A miniscule 1 INT.  So, what happened?  Well, 20 of 53 happened.  Don’t be fooled by that nice round twenty.  What if it was 19 of 52–that’s horrifying, right?  Same thing.  Last night Freeman found a way to make the Giants secondary effective.  He also took a fan base that was gasping for air and shoved them back under the water.  Well played, sir.  Here’s your D.A.

D.A. Fantasy Football Standings–Official Midway Point of Regular Season:  

  1. Team Horse Face, 6-1
  2. Eli Esses D, 4-3
  3. D.A.iry Queen INC, 4-3
  4. Fake Chow, 3-4
  5. Tampa Ticklesh*ts, 3-4
  6. Happy Valley Tickle Monsters, 3-4
  7. Carlos Danger, 3-4
  8. Doubleback Vineyards, 2-5

Quick Summaries:  

Horse Face Flexes Muscle with 44.75 to 18 Win Over Fake Chow

Highlights:  Horse Face is going to wrap up a playoff spot early at this rate and this week he benefitted from Nick Foles’ terrible game and early exit.  BONUS YARDAGE POINTS–as Foles threw for a mere 80.  That Lewis continues to disappoint, and only kicked in seven points for Fake Chow who is living on the playoff bubble.

Carlos Danger is Revitalized with 19.25 to 17 Squeaker over HVTM.  

Highlights:  Geno Smith had the biggest day of his career, leading the Jets past the Patriots, but he also found the time to kick in 25 points for HVTM.  The squad was done in by a resurgent RG3.  Carlos Danger moved back to the fringes of contention thanks a slow burn of suck from Sam Bradford (10.5 points) and Mike Glennon (8.75 points).  

D.A.iry Queen INC Kicks Doubleback while they’re Down, 56-37. 

Highlights:  Rough year for Doubleback Vineyards who is 3rd in total points, but DAL in the standings.  The action this week summed my trials, as I held a comfortable lead going into Monday thanks to a gaudy 43 point effort from Brandon Weeden. But, on Monday night Josh Freeman broke a lot of hearts, mine included with his massive 58 point outburst.  It was more than enough.

Eli Esses D Gets By Tampa Ticklesh*ts, 16 to (-3)

Highlights:  Eli won this game by snagging Carson Palmer on Thursday night.  Palmer’s 18 points was the only real sizzle in this matchup.  Chad Henne’s 3 points might be an all-time low for a Jacksonville QB.  Probably not, but it feels that way, and Tampa gets thrown back into the logjam, fighting for the final spot in the playoffs.


Week 8 Draft Order:  

  1. Fake Chow
  2. HVTM
  3. DQ
  4. Tampa
  5. Eli
  6. Doubleback
  7. Carlos
  8. Horse Face


Week 8 Matchups:  

  1. HVTM vs. Fake Chow
  2. D.A.iry Queen vs. Horse Face
  3. Tampa Ticklesh*ts vs. Carlos Danger
  4. Eli Esses D. vs. Doubleback Vineyards

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