Smith Says Gimme That Juicy Double.
It seems inevitable that at some point Matt Barkley will actually get a start for the Eagles and that will kick off an unprecedented run of D.A. awards, but for now Barkley remains a backup and we have to look elsewhere for our D.A. winners. Luckily, there are plenty of good candidates this time of year.
First, some housekeeping. It wasn’t our best D.A. week in terms of logistics. That included me botching someone’s list, so don’t feel too badly about yourselves. Anyway, when people don’t get their lists in I kind of struggle with what to do and this week we had a game where both competitors had life intervene, so I’m just kind of playing it by ear here. Tried to be as fair as possible, and if you got me a full list on time–you got your best possible lineup. Here’s how things are going to shake out, I don’t know if it’s the best idea, but everyone is still in this, so if you don’t like your standing–make better picks for the last six weeks and you’ll be fine. On to the trophies…
Geno Smith. What amazes me sometimes about the NFL is how differently teams play week-to-week. They look good, they get blown out, their defense competes, they give up 4 TDs to a guy who doesn’t have a wikipedia page–it’s all so mysterious. The Jets are one of these teams. Who knows what they’ll do, and I guess some of that is attributed to Smith who really has been better than I expected, but can still go down in flames like Sunday.
The rookie was actually puttering along having a boring day in a monster blowout, but when the Jets got down about 5 scores, they really turned Geno loose. The Bengals offense had packed things in for the day, but Geno said, I can make this a bigger blowout. The garbage time pick-6 is the hallmark of a young QB. Geno decided to run that back twice, pushing the score to 49-9. His D.A. measurables actually weren’t that bad, but two Pick-6s means someone else has to blow you away, and that did not happen. Also, there was time for more, but the Jets said, “No, let’s get a look at Matt Simms.” And, when you get pulled for Matt Simms, regardless of the situation, that’s some pretty serious D.A. sh*t right there. Congrats, Geno. First of many.
D.A. Fantasy Football Standings:
- Team Horse Face, 6-2
- D.A.iry Queen, INC, 5-3
- Fake Chow, 4-4
- Eli Esses D, 4-4
- Tampa Ticklesh*ts, 3-4-1
- Carlos Danger, 3-4-1
- Happy Valley Tickle Monsters, 3-5
- Doubleback Vineyards, 3-5
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Quick Summaries:
Fake Chow Cruises Past HVTM, 34 to (-43.5)
Highlights: Game was a tale of two QBs. HVTM got stuck with Andy Dalton late and the sober Marinovich burned him badly in that thrashing of the Jets. It put Fake Chow in great position, and they took advantage of the 1st pick to nab Kellen Clemens, is he one of Roger’s sons? Is it Clements? I really don’t know or care, but the Rams are back on the phone with Favre after that steady 38 point burst from their new starter.
D.A.iry Queen, INC Makes Things Interesting with 51 to 44.75 win over Horse Face.
Highlights: This is the game that featured a scoring adjustment due to an error on the team assignments. So, with the 3rd pick DQ actually got Thad Lewis and his 28 points, which set up a track meet with the league leader. Ryan Tannehill closed like a dog and surged to 35 points for Horse Face, but it wasn’t enough to overcome the steady day of DQ who nudged themselves into good playoff position.
Tampa Ticklesh*ts and Carlos Danger “Tie” 0-0.
Highlights: Originally, I gave both of these guys stud QBs, and that was funny because Matt Stafford had about -400 points, but that felt a bit too arbitrary, so we’re just moving on like nothing ever happened. Nothing to see here.
Doubleback Vineyards Hangs onto Life with 28 to 8 Win Over Eli Esses D.
Highlights: Doubleback was in a rough spot at 2-5, but somehow managed to wrangle Geno Smith in the first round, and it could jump start the second half of the season. Smith’s monster finish allowed Doubleback to have a nice cushion over Eli, who got a mere 4 points from Chad Henne. Is down now up? I’m troubled.
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Week 9 Draft Order:
- HVTM
- DQ
- Tampa
- Eli
- Doubleback
- Carlos
- Horse Face
- Fake Chow
***
Week 9 Matchups:
- Happy Valley Tickle Monsters vs. Tampa Ticklesh*ts
- Horse Face vs. Eli Esses D
- Fake Chow vs. D.A.iry Queen, INC
- Doubleback Vineyards vs. Carlos Danger
3-Putt Territory 
Unprecedented first, a tie in DA. I think it’s a first at least…..