2013 D.A. Fantasy Football — Week 3.

New Tattoo.

Ah, the running quarterback.  What will this revolution do to D.A. Fantasy football?  Will it take away some of the truly horrid throwers of the ball?  The pocket statues who somehow match no arm strength with no mobility?  Can the next Kevin Kolb break into a league where everyone is looking for Russell Wilson?  Is there another Clausen brother we don’t know about yet?  I was a little concerned about the D.A. league’s stars of the future.

Then, Sunday night.  Colin Kaepernick said, “I think I have something you might be interested in.”  If Colin Kapernick has ever been taken in D.A. it was surely only a one-time thing.  A mistake, because the guy really hasn’t put up a D.A. worthy game in his short career.  Impressive, but a deeper look into his statistics shows you something.  The inaccuracy.  Kaepernick can spray the ball around like TIger Woods.  So, if there were ever a game where things didn’t go right, where the tattooed phenom ran into the wrong defense–Kaepernick was ready–building from a good foundation of incompletions.

That game happened.  Unfortunately it didn’t benefit anyone in the league, but it happened.  Through a desolate 1st quarter, Kaepernick and Wilson were both wildly ineffective, but then Colin cranked it up, as did the Seahawk defense and he totally overshadowed Russell’s own sorry effort.  The final tally was 13/28.  3 INTs, 3 Sacks, and a lost fumble.  His 35 D.A. points did not lead the league, but they were close, and they announced his D.A. presence with authority.  Now, can he keep it up, or was that all Seattle?

D.A. Quick Summaries:  

Happy Valley Tickle Monsters Rebound with 30.75 to (-55.5) Rout of Tampa Ticklesh*ts.  

The Tickle Bowl.  This one was over before it started.  Big Ben’s solid 22+ point outing Monday night made no difference.  A lesson was probably learned in this game and that was never take a D.A. QB against the Eagles.  Do not take D.A. himself playing against the Eagles.  Philip Rivers had the “worst” game in D.A. history, chucking the ball all over the place for (-62.5 points).  Mercy.

Team Horse Face Clips Eli Esses D, 32 to 12.5.  

The other half of the Sunday night duo, Russell Wilson, put up a respectable 19 points for Big Dub, but the frustrating EJ Manuel continues to get over-drafted.  For horse face, it was Josh Freeman leading the way.  Josh Freeman could end up being the Todd Helton of DA.  Just steadily great for a long time the only question will be, does playing in Tampa influence D.A. Hall of Fame voters?

D.A.iry Queen INC. Breaks Her Maiden with 26.5 to 6.75 win over Fake Chow.

D.A.iry Queen reached high, all the way to the #1 pick to grab Geno Smith on Thursday night.  After a slow start, Smith started firing picks in the 2nd half and ended up with the week’s best score, 42 points.  After that it was hold on for dear life while RG3 put up garbage time stats for a 2nd straight week.  For Fake Chow, a negative effort from Ryan Tannehill helped chip away some of the momentum from that monster week 1.

Carlos Danger Arrives in 1st Place with 50 to 22 Win over Doubleback Vineyards. 

A well contested game for the most part, but Eli Manning made all the difference for Carlos.  If you are into these kind of stats, Eli is on pace for 56 INTs.  Magical.  And, he really might get there with NY’s running game.  For D-Back, Christian Ponder had a solid 24 points, but when Eli doesn’t want to be caught, he will not be caught.

***

D.A. Standings:

1. Carlos Danger, 2-0
2. Team Horse Face, 2-0
3. Fake Chow, 1-1
4. Doubleback Vineyards, 1-1
5. D.A.iry Queen, INC, 1-1
6. Happy Valley Tickle Monsters, 1-1
7. Tampa Ticklesh*ts, 0-2
8. Eli Esses D, 0-2

***

Week Three Draft Order:

1. Tampa
2. Eli
3. Doubleback
4. Carlos
5. Horse Face
6. Fake Chow
7. HVTM
8. D.Airy Queen

***

Week Three Matchups:

1. Happy Valley Tickle Monsters vs. Doubleback Vineyards
2. D.A.iry Queen, INC vs. Eli Esses D
3. Team Horse Face vs. Carlos Danger
4. Tampa Ticklesh*ts vs. Fake Chow