Give It Up.

 

Do Not Take Away Al Gore's Invention.

 

Lent starts today.  I don’t participate.  I may have the least amount of religious knowledge of any college educated person in America, so I hope I don’t offend anyone by using the idea of Lent for this post.  If I do, it was unintended and please forgive my simple ignorance.  Lent is a trending topic on Yahoo today, which allows me to familiarize myself with some of the ins and outs quite easily.  I’ve always been somewhat aware of Lent, and of people giving things up. They shun chocolate, beer, caffeine or something else near and dear to their hearts for six weeks and then come Easter it’s time to celebrate.  If I had to do this, what would I give up?

First, let’s take a look at the easy ways out:

Beer:  Beer would be a total lay-up for me.  It is about the only alcohol I drink, but the amazing thing is as I’ve grown into full adulthood I don’t drink that much.  I can go a few weeks without drinking a beer just by accident.  If you saw me at 21 or 22 you’d be impressed that I gave up beer, but these days I’d coast through the six weeks in a cakewalk.

Specific Dessert:  I feel like this is the easiest way out.  I could give up chocolate.  It wouldn’t be a good time, but I’d persevere.  That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be shoveling vast quantities of vanilla ice cream into my mouth or turning the glazed donut into America’s new favorite dessert.  It’d be even easier if I gave up ice cream or cookies or brownies.  I’d just load up in the other areas.

Soda/Caffeinated Beverages:  If you didn’t know me, you’d be impressed.  If you do know me, you’d know I’ve never once had a cup of coffee in my life, was permanently turned off soda after having free fountain access in the dining hall freshman year, and about the only stimulant I drink is Iced Tea.  So, quitting caffeinated beverages would be another lay-up for me.  No problem.

Television:  Back during the summer I lived in bumble cuss Michigan we didn’t have a television device.  Pretty spartan accommodations at the crib.  You know what, you get used to it.  This isn’t to say I didn’t catch some TV at a bar or at work from time to time, but for the better part of 5 months I didn’t watch anything on television.  I think this would be easy, but I might have to forcibly remove my TV from my apartment.

So what would be impossible for me to give up?  What would I choose if I really wanted to make a sacrifice?

The Internet.  There’s no doubt.  I’d love to go back in time and talk to my 10-year-old self or whatever and tell him that one day he’d be mystically and magically attached to this thing called the Internet.  I remember the first time I saw the process of going online.  I want to say it was maybe 1993.  A friend of mine had a “modem” and took the time to show me the wonders of Prodigy.  I don’t want to speak out of turn but I am pretty sure there wasn’t even search engines at this point.  He had this giant book of Internet addresses.  It was like the yellow pages or something.  I have no idea where he got it.  Anyway, it was a wild and amazing thing.  I had no idea how this could all be happening through the phone line, and then he showed me pictures of naked women.

Fast forward to the present and it is amazing how often I lean on the Internet like a familiar crutch that I can’t do without.  When it penetrated my phone a few years back it just worsened my addiction.  It is amazing how I can’t stand not having a specific piece of information anymore.  I don’t wonder about things.  I just immediately look them up. Phone, computer, someone else’s phone, whatever.

It’d be almost impossible to quit the Internet at this point and lead your life I would imagine.  It is so ubiquitous that unless you are living off the grid you wouldn’t be able to get away with quitting the Internet unless everyone else gave it up as well.  You’d have to call a lot more people.  Imagine the horror.  I can’t.  So, that’s it for me, in the realm of chocolate, alcohol and everything else, I’d have to say my websites are most important to me.  After all, I do blabber away here almost every day.

Quiz of the Day: Civil War Generals. Category:  The War of Northern Aggression.  My Score: 13/20.

Tiger To Play with his BFF.

 

Tiger Has to Spend About 10 Hours With the Big Goof.

 

The PGA Tour has quietly gotten something right recently.  They are putting together some serious “feature groups.” This week’s WGC event at Doral doesn’t really count, because it is a limited field, but even the week in, week out PGA events have gotten away from the standard computer assigned pairings.   Like at Riviera, was it a coincidence that President’s Cup captain Fred Couples was playing with two potential team members?  No.  Rickie Fowler and Lee Westwood played together last week on Thursday and Friday.  It makes sense for everyone to bunch the attractions. It’s easier on the TV people, the spectators and no offense to the regular guys on Tour, but no one wants to see Tiger playing with Bill Haas and Charlie Hoffman.

This week the top of the field goes off the World Rankings.  Kaymer, Westwood and Donald play together and then Tiger is paired with Graeme McDowell and Phil.  I wonder if Tiger is relishing these pairings or if he wouldn’t mind a little less spotlight?  Of course, that’d be impossible.  He’d have to show up in some elaborate disguise.  We know Phil gets pumped up for his pairings with Tiger, but his game this year has been a little erratic.  McDowell doesn’t seem to get too excited about anything, so I don’t expect much drama coming from him.  The eyes will be back on Tiger, now that he’s had another 2 weeks to continue working.  The fangs are starting to come out against his teacher Sean Foley, and if Tiger wants to do his coach a favor and take some heat off, maybe he should actually play well.  The good news is, there isn’t a cut, so he’s guaranteed 72 holes of work.

***

Zack Greinke is the latest NL ace to go down with an injury.  Greinke’s rib injury, suffered playing pick-up basketball (moron) seems relatively minor.  He’ll start the season on the DL, but should be back by mid-April.  Of course, starting the season on the DL, regardless of the reason is never ideal.  Cliff Lee missed the start of last season and I don’t know that he ever really settled in with the consistency he would have liked.  It’s a cruel stance, but the more pitching that goes down in the NL the better off the Phillies will be.  It’s not a big secret that this team doesn’t light up good pitching.  The definition of good pitching is that it doesn’t get lit up, but the Phils seem to especially struggle against top-flight starters and strikeout pitchers (oh, and RA Dickey).  Still kind of waiting for the Phillies offense to get clicking down in Clearwater.  Ryan Howard, Shane Victorino and rightfield by committee are putting up good numbers, but some of the other regulars are scuffling.  It could be another feast or famine year.

***

I’ll admit that I go to philly.com a couple of times a day and at this point I’m expecting to see the Chase Utley will have surgery on his knee headline.  I don’t know what else to think.  If rest and a cortisone shot isn’t improving his condition, what will happen when Chase actually starts playing again?  At this point I’d be more surprised to see his name in the lineup than I would to hear that he’s going under the knife.

***

I think my favorite part about Tiki Barber’s attempted return to the league is the reaction from the Giants.  Their statement was pretty classic.  They’re like, “Oh, well as soon as we can make a move we’ll take him off our retired list. Nooooooo Problem.”  It’s almost like they are insulted that they even have to do this.  That they have to waste the time freeing Barber of his obligation to them under the absurd premise that he could actually help a team at this point. I guess Tiki is finding out that retiring near your prime to become a TV personality only works if you aren’t awful on TV (and generally loathed by a large portion of the public for splitting on your pregnant wife).  Looks like he wants to end up in Tampa with his brother Ronde.  I’m not sure that the best team in the NFC has the room for him.

***

Harvard and Princeton are going to have to square off for the Ivy League basketball title and the automatic bid in the tournament.  For all their successes in the academic and rowing(?) realms, Harvard appears to have one of the least successful college basketball programs of all-time.  Never outright Ivy Champs and no tournament appearances since 1946.  Princeton, of course, dominates the Ivy League along with Penn in basketball but has a smaller library.  They are holding the playoff at Yale, which to a casual observer like me, seems all to perfect.  Harvard and Princeton at Yale? Epic.  The problem is, Yale hates Harvard far more than they hate Princeton…so the site is not going to be that neutral. Poor Harvard.  I’d actually like to go to this game.  I imagine all these nerds whipped into a frenzy would be quite the sight.  I’ll pull for Princeton.  Tommy Amaker is kind of a mutt.